Ahhhh recently a great amount of love has been entering and filling My core, My chest area and it is because of the enormous amount of laughter and joy that old Italian grandmothers, amazing Italian mothers as well as children has been adding to my life and one particular baby boy that completely stole My heart and another 2 little boys, ouffff, little Ludovico, Edoardo and Pierepaolo, ahhhh the most content and happiest almost 7 month old boy, the cutest 5 year old Edo and the very responsible Pierre.... Priceless.
Babies are so increadible, the little features, hands and ohh my goodness the laughter, when a baby laughs to me it is the most beautiful and joyful sound in the world it makes me so excited and happy as well as warm, fuzzy and dizzy, ohhh too much love.
2 Nights ago, I was in Ronchi78 it was just before it was time to close for the night and the guests down stairs that was dancing and singing with Paolo the musician, drew their eveing to a close, they were paying their accounts and leaving.
Standing at the bar and greeting all the guests as they left this one amusing family caught My attention, ohh dear, it was a grandfather and grandmother that had an awesome evening with their children or grand children but they were all adults, hahahaha, the grandfather was smiling at me all the time and the grandmother was dancing and so full of life she just stole My heart, ahhhh.
Before this amazing little Italian woman left Ronchi she stopped when she saw me and asked me if I would be one of her son's girlfriend, I told her ok because obviously she was joking, then she pointed to her son and asked me if I liked him hahahahahahaha, ohhh dear the son or grandson looked so embarrest and she was just too cute, hahahahahaha, BELLISSIMA!!!!!
Old people facinates me, they carry round within them almost one century's knowledge and experiences, you can ask them anything. The grandmothers have almost one century of recipies stored in their minds as well as remedies, it is increadible like a walking living, caring, sweet adorable warm trustworthy gentle library and you can hug them, talk to them do things for them help them ahhhh it is beautiful.
About a month ago I was speaking to Mirko about My grandfather that has passed away because of cancer when I was 17. My relationship with My grandfather was very strange, for 17 years My grandfather never showed me affection or even spoke to me, yet I was his only grandaughter. My brother and myself Who was his only granchildren went to visit him every school holiday but he had his busineses so we never saw him.
One year before My grandfather passed away I knew that My time with him was limited so I thought to myself "Enough is Enough, I am going to force him to speak and spend time with me, I am going to become his personal poltergeist" so I did, I started by sitting with him at the breakfast table every morning talking to him and asking him 20 0000 questions. His replies were short without feeling and he looked very confused. Sundays were the only day when he was not working and he was not a person that could sleep in the afternoon, me neither so he would go into the gerage looking at his new branch trimming toy's and then walk round in the garden trimming the tree branches, so I would walk behind him picking up the branches that fell onto the ground after he cut them just to help him so that he does not have to bend afterwards to pick up all the branches. He noticed me following him and helping him then he would say in afrikaans "n bietjie beter met n bietjie botter", it means directly translated "a little bit better with a little bit of butter", meaning that it looks better now that it is trimmed. I thought that this rime was absolutely beautiful and I always walked behind him giggling every time he said this rhyming phrase, hehehehe he would smile as I would giggle.
I remember that the branches I collected as he would CUT them off of the trees had many thorns and these thorns were cutting My hands badly, but I did not care, the time with him was too precious to complain about My hands bleeding. My grandfather noticed the blood on My hands but said noting, he looked shocked after a while when he saw that after an hour of giggling behind him with really bloody hands and could not understand why I didnt care about the pain.
The time with him was far more precious to me than to worry about My freshly CUT bruises, from that moment our relationship started to develop, he was curious to know why this child would hurt herself to spend time with him, he wanted to get to know me. For my grandfather, he never knew that love does not cost a thing, he never knew that all he had to do and all I wanted from him was just to spend time with me, hehehehehe the last year of his life was wonderful but difficult, I finally had a real grandfather that loved me, ahhh he was so sweet and I could not stop spending time with him, his cancer killed me too, not to be able to help someone you love or to take away their pain killed me slowly, all I could do was be there for him 1000% for anything he needed, I massaged him on the painful areas but it didnt help, when he needed anything it was there it was done.
Our birthdays were two days apart, his birthday was on the 18th of October and mine is on the 20th of October he was exactly 50 years and two days older than me and I loved buying him presents, A year before he passed away for his birthday I baught him 2 work shirts one black and another dark blue he looked very good in dark colours and I would tell him that too, his last days those two shirts were the only two shirts he wore. He was always facinated with his gift bags I normally gave with his presents and 2 days afterwards on my birthday he would come with a very tiny gift bag and inside the little gift bag was money hehehehehe.
I also sent him an sms every morning before I went to school then in the afternoon he would give me money because of one simple sms, what I would do then is take the cash and buy chocolates as well as sweets cookies and milo, water etc and then we would have a picknick on his bed, hahahaha ahhh the memories of his last month are priceless but it killed me as I saw how the cancer took toll on him every day.
In the last year of his life I had to have incredibile self controll because his wife. My step grandmother treated him bad and it only got worse the weaker he got, the one day he asked his wife to please get his coat because he was feeling cold, ohhh I was sitting NeXT to him when she trew a fit walked out of the living room returned and trew his coat right into his face, ohhh dear God, anger arose in me like I have never felt before I wanted to se this woman being slowly tortured to death, but I kept My face staight and My voice pleasant and helped My grandfather to put on his coat. When someone is dying of an illness it is important to keep their environments as peaceful, happy, luxurious and joyful as much as humanly possible.
The one afternoon we were still having our picknick, he then took out all my lille gifts I gave him from when I was 7 years old. When I was 7 I gave him a little business card size black suitcase for all his business cards, that day he gave it back to me exactly as I gave it to him 10 years before, inside was still my 7 year old handwriting wishing him happy birthday,. for me that broke my heart because all the years I thought he did not care about me, he loved me, he just never knew how to show me, that day I knew and I was happy but sad, it was his gift I didn't want it back, I wanted him to stay.
My grandfathers last days were terrible and I was exhausted, all he wanted was me, when I left or was not close he would look around in panick, so I stayed in his hospital room by his bed, rubbing his feet, rubbing his back, helping him eat, speaking to him, holding his hand. The morning before he passed I put right his daily boxers and vest, it was a white vest with red boxers the cartoon on the boxers were little devils and underneath it said naughty devil.
His last moments were strange, he kept looking at an empty corner in the room with a smile on his face while squeezing My hand with all his might, My hand was numb after a while but it did not matter.
While he was breathing his last breath I was telling him how much I loved him and that one day I will see him again, I also kissed the top of his head and rubbed his ears for the last time, I was the only one that could touch his ears, the last breath and the last look was not pretty so I walked out of the room emotionless, not crying not saying a word, I died again that day, there were no more tears, I was dried up, I had mo more emotion to be sad even I was just existing again.
The next day I went to go select his coffin and select the flowers because if I did not do this his wife would have chosen a shoe box if she could, just to pocket more money, disgusting pffff.
For me, if you hurt children, old people, Ill people or animals in front of me Uffff there is no words to describe how upset I feel, it is in my sight forbidden and not even thought of because I get too furious, if I had to be a cartoon character I would explode of fury and shoot the person with a shotgun afterwards feed him to the pigs then burn the bastard and poohp on his ashes. Sorry it's just how I feel, I do not have the heart to actually do it, I cannot even hurt an ant conciously, I'm just describing my feelings.
Children and old people as well as Ill people and animals are so dependent on a physical person for comfort, help, as well as survival, they cannot be alone or look after themselves it is so important to be kind and look after these four groups of beings. They are innocent and need to be taken care of with love.
Oki doki I am exhausted and think that I have written quite a bit today...
I will write again soon..
Amore Sempre
Babies are so increadible, the little features, hands and ohh my goodness the laughter, when a baby laughs to me it is the most beautiful and joyful sound in the world it makes me so excited and happy as well as warm, fuzzy and dizzy, ohhh too much love.
2 Nights ago, I was in Ronchi78 it was just before it was time to close for the night and the guests down stairs that was dancing and singing with Paolo the musician, drew their eveing to a close, they were paying their accounts and leaving.
Standing at the bar and greeting all the guests as they left this one amusing family caught My attention, ohh dear, it was a grandfather and grandmother that had an awesome evening with their children or grand children but they were all adults, hahahaha, the grandfather was smiling at me all the time and the grandmother was dancing and so full of life she just stole My heart, ahhhh.
Before this amazing little Italian woman left Ronchi she stopped when she saw me and asked me if I would be one of her son's girlfriend, I told her ok because obviously she was joking, then she pointed to her son and asked me if I liked him hahahahahahaha, ohhh dear the son or grandson looked so embarrest and she was just too cute, hahahahahaha, BELLISSIMA!!!!!
Old people facinates me, they carry round within them almost one century's knowledge and experiences, you can ask them anything. The grandmothers have almost one century of recipies stored in their minds as well as remedies, it is increadible like a walking living, caring, sweet adorable warm trustworthy gentle library and you can hug them, talk to them do things for them help them ahhhh it is beautiful.
About a month ago I was speaking to Mirko about My grandfather that has passed away because of cancer when I was 17. My relationship with My grandfather was very strange, for 17 years My grandfather never showed me affection or even spoke to me, yet I was his only grandaughter. My brother and myself Who was his only granchildren went to visit him every school holiday but he had his busineses so we never saw him.
One year before My grandfather passed away I knew that My time with him was limited so I thought to myself "Enough is Enough, I am going to force him to speak and spend time with me, I am going to become his personal poltergeist" so I did, I started by sitting with him at the breakfast table every morning talking to him and asking him 20 0000 questions. His replies were short without feeling and he looked very confused. Sundays were the only day when he was not working and he was not a person that could sleep in the afternoon, me neither so he would go into the gerage looking at his new branch trimming toy's and then walk round in the garden trimming the tree branches, so I would walk behind him picking up the branches that fell onto the ground after he cut them just to help him so that he does not have to bend afterwards to pick up all the branches. He noticed me following him and helping him then he would say in afrikaans "n bietjie beter met n bietjie botter", it means directly translated "a little bit better with a little bit of butter", meaning that it looks better now that it is trimmed. I thought that this rime was absolutely beautiful and I always walked behind him giggling every time he said this rhyming phrase, hehehehe he would smile as I would giggle.
I remember that the branches I collected as he would CUT them off of the trees had many thorns and these thorns were cutting My hands badly, but I did not care, the time with him was too precious to complain about My hands bleeding. My grandfather noticed the blood on My hands but said noting, he looked shocked after a while when he saw that after an hour of giggling behind him with really bloody hands and could not understand why I didnt care about the pain.
The time with him was far more precious to me than to worry about My freshly CUT bruises, from that moment our relationship started to develop, he was curious to know why this child would hurt herself to spend time with him, he wanted to get to know me. For my grandfather, he never knew that love does not cost a thing, he never knew that all he had to do and all I wanted from him was just to spend time with me, hehehehehe the last year of his life was wonderful but difficult, I finally had a real grandfather that loved me, ahhh he was so sweet and I could not stop spending time with him, his cancer killed me too, not to be able to help someone you love or to take away their pain killed me slowly, all I could do was be there for him 1000% for anything he needed, I massaged him on the painful areas but it didnt help, when he needed anything it was there it was done.
Our birthdays were two days apart, his birthday was on the 18th of October and mine is on the 20th of October he was exactly 50 years and two days older than me and I loved buying him presents, A year before he passed away for his birthday I baught him 2 work shirts one black and another dark blue he looked very good in dark colours and I would tell him that too, his last days those two shirts were the only two shirts he wore. He was always facinated with his gift bags I normally gave with his presents and 2 days afterwards on my birthday he would come with a very tiny gift bag and inside the little gift bag was money hehehehehe.
I also sent him an sms every morning before I went to school then in the afternoon he would give me money because of one simple sms, what I would do then is take the cash and buy chocolates as well as sweets cookies and milo, water etc and then we would have a picknick on his bed, hahahaha ahhh the memories of his last month are priceless but it killed me as I saw how the cancer took toll on him every day.
In the last year of his life I had to have incredibile self controll because his wife. My step grandmother treated him bad and it only got worse the weaker he got, the one day he asked his wife to please get his coat because he was feeling cold, ohhh I was sitting NeXT to him when she trew a fit walked out of the living room returned and trew his coat right into his face, ohhh dear God, anger arose in me like I have never felt before I wanted to se this woman being slowly tortured to death, but I kept My face staight and My voice pleasant and helped My grandfather to put on his coat. When someone is dying of an illness it is important to keep their environments as peaceful, happy, luxurious and joyful as much as humanly possible.
The one afternoon we were still having our picknick, he then took out all my lille gifts I gave him from when I was 7 years old. When I was 7 I gave him a little business card size black suitcase for all his business cards, that day he gave it back to me exactly as I gave it to him 10 years before, inside was still my 7 year old handwriting wishing him happy birthday,. for me that broke my heart because all the years I thought he did not care about me, he loved me, he just never knew how to show me, that day I knew and I was happy but sad, it was his gift I didn't want it back, I wanted him to stay.
My grandfathers last days were terrible and I was exhausted, all he wanted was me, when I left or was not close he would look around in panick, so I stayed in his hospital room by his bed, rubbing his feet, rubbing his back, helping him eat, speaking to him, holding his hand. The morning before he passed I put right his daily boxers and vest, it was a white vest with red boxers the cartoon on the boxers were little devils and underneath it said naughty devil.
His last moments were strange, he kept looking at an empty corner in the room with a smile on his face while squeezing My hand with all his might, My hand was numb after a while but it did not matter.
While he was breathing his last breath I was telling him how much I loved him and that one day I will see him again, I also kissed the top of his head and rubbed his ears for the last time, I was the only one that could touch his ears, the last breath and the last look was not pretty so I walked out of the room emotionless, not crying not saying a word, I died again that day, there were no more tears, I was dried up, I had mo more emotion to be sad even I was just existing again.
The next day I went to go select his coffin and select the flowers because if I did not do this his wife would have chosen a shoe box if she could, just to pocket more money, disgusting pffff.
For me, if you hurt children, old people, Ill people or animals in front of me Uffff there is no words to describe how upset I feel, it is in my sight forbidden and not even thought of because I get too furious, if I had to be a cartoon character I would explode of fury and shoot the person with a shotgun afterwards feed him to the pigs then burn the bastard and poohp on his ashes. Sorry it's just how I feel, I do not have the heart to actually do it, I cannot even hurt an ant conciously, I'm just describing my feelings.
Children and old people as well as Ill people and animals are so dependent on a physical person for comfort, help, as well as survival, they cannot be alone or look after themselves it is so important to be kind and look after these four groups of beings. They are innocent and need to be taken care of with love.
Oki doki I am exhausted and think that I have written quite a bit today...
I will write again soon..
Amore Sempre
