CHAPTER 1: BABEL [1]“Marilette, ons
enigste opsie is, is om die koper in die hande te kry en vra of sy nog wil
voort gaan met die verkoop en as ons haar nie in die hande kan kry nie, gaan
ons n kanselasie van die verkoop moet in dien.” Mr Lombaard explained to me in
detail a week or two after I received the dreadful news from him. I was in fact
still in denial and in hope that my family lawyer was playing a practical joke
on me after I received the dreadful news from him the first time, but no it was
not even April at the time.
I felt that it was truly impossible and I simply could not believe
it. Every day and every moment I thought about Mork having to receive the same
news as I did, the fact that I would not be returning to him was breaking my
heart possibly more that what anyone could have realized. His disappointment and
the sadness beaming from his eyes, simply the thought of him feeling sad
tortured me, for me there was no grater sight than the sight of Mork being
happy and there was no greater torture seeing him sad. What had happened I
could not change, the situation I was facing at the time I had no control over,
I could not change it, I was was chained in circumstance. During this great period of incredible heartache, shock and
disbelief, it was truly difficult for me to keep the faith. I prayed but it
felt that my prayers were blocked because I was too sad, I only felt comfort as
if a warm blanket fell over me, comforted me and made me feel peaceful and helping
me to see that the timing was not yet right but for my heart only to be broken
again the following day. The chattering pieces of my heart was not just my own
heart, no, as my heart shattered so did my relationship with Mork and with and
everyone in Italy. Was I now seen as unreliable, as someone that lies and then
to disappoint? Was this situation going to make Mork not believe me? Was I going to be labeled again and accused of
the lies that was created of me in the past simply because of this buyer that
simply decided to vanish off of the planet. It was truly impossible. With great
expectation follows great disappointment, the excitement, counting one’s
chickens before it hatches and when it does not, what then? All being ripped
away at once, left only heartbroken and within a darkness that no man must ever
enter within. I could understand completely if Mork never wanted to speak to me
again, I could understand that he lost all hope and faith in me, in my words
and also in my promises and yet he wanted to hear nothing if I had to explain
that it was not my doing, it was not in my control, I was chained in hope to
return to him but I could not do anything. It was to great a risk to simply
forget my responsibilities and leave to return to home, a place, a country that
I love as my own and know that if I leave I will simply be called back to South
Africa, I would not be able to start over, I will begin to start over and then
have to leave back to south Africa again. No! It was such a difficult situation because not just did I have to
think about everybody’s disappointment in me, I also had to face the
disappointment that I myself suffered. It was not the best news; it was a
horrific situation. My heart was scattered on the floor like the Tower of
babel, to have heaven almost in our reach and then the unbelievable
disappointment. Having to be strong when
one is at one’s weakest was the most difficult thing I ever had to face and do.
Well not exactly, I had to face things more difficult and I healed from the
experiences but the experience that I was facing was different because nobody
died, it felt like I was going through a breakup with the love of my life. To
know that someone is still alive and you still love them with all of your heart
but decide to part ways or circumstances decide separation, no it was not
possible for me to understand. I suffered this humiliation and heartache for two weeks before one
day, while I woke up feeling great misery, I tried to be more responsive and
also positive on social media, when a darling friend of mine contacted me. I did not hear a word from Mork or Jack. I knew that they were
very disappointed in me and furious too if I may add.I felt that my whole world was over and that my relationship with
Mork and @78 was demolished. I was miserable and highly depressed and I decided
to admit defeat. Shortly after I surrendered and gave up, my friend Drago called, a
young man in his thirties who was and is very funny, dark hair, brown eyes with
light bronze tanned skin, I decided to invite him over for dinner because I
needed a laugh, a lot of it and to relax. I knew that Drago had feelings for
me, very strong ones too but I did not think about romance at that time, I
truly only needed a friend at the time and I did not overthink anything too
much, if Drago was the one for me, then if by some miracle I fell in love with
him that night, I would have let it be and moved on with my life with Drago. The following Friday evening Drago was on his way to me and I was
really nervous. I was willing to give this man a chance, I was willing to let
Mork and @78 go forever and that frightened me.As the seconds slowly passed, which felt like a slowly torturous
lifetime, I lit some candles on the table and I placed some water and wine on
the table. The dish I prepared was a simple Risotto with some seafood within
it, it was simple and not too much. There were also some crisps together with
some cheese on the table for apperativo and then there were ice-cream and
chocolate sauce for desert. I did not fell like cooking, when my heart is sad I
struggle to do anything but I forced myself to try. I heard Drago driving down the driveway when my heart stopped for
a second once I heard that he had parked. I knew that any second I would hear a
knock on the door and that he would expect to be hosted by me, I did not feel
like that dinner or anyone’s company at that moment, I preferred to be alone
and to sulk but as soon as I hear him knocking, I perfected my pink three
quarter flower dress that complimented my figure perfectly and elegantly, I
unlocked the door and opened it slowly while fixing a smile on my face at the
same time. Drago looked very handsome and also unbelievably happy as well as
excited to have been there. His optimistic levels made me feel at ease and I
relaxed a bit. After his first joke I roared with laughter and I thought:
“Perhaps this was not such a bad idea?” while offering some wine and snacks
before we continued to discuss every topic under the sun. A while after we ate the main meal and I offered him some dessert.
I was very peaceful but also sleepy at that time but I sat with my elbows on
the table, with my chin resting on my hands and I simply smiled at Drago while
he was talking and eating the dessert. My mind drifted somewhere for a moment,
I was daydreaming for a second when Drago brought my attention back to reality.“You are on fire.” He said with a smile. I blushed and I thanked
him for his compliment when he then said: “No your hair is on fire!”, he did
not even complete his sentence when I saw a flame next to my head.The moment my mind drifted to another world made my head tilt and
for some time my hair was beginning to burn in the candle. I jumped up and ran
to the bathroom to wet my hair. I was so embarrassed, and I looked terrible.
Drago was laughing so much that he could not speak for some time, tears poured out
of his eyes from the laughter. Shortly after the horrific event, I kindly escorted Drago out of
the house and bid him farewell for the time. I had a magical evening, it was
ruined by flaming events but it was fun. The following morning my hair still smelled burnt. I decided to
then go to the hairdresser, well I did not decide that I simply wanted to go, I
had to go because there was a chunk of hair missing from my hair. Luckily my
skull was not burnt. It was as if events synchronized so that a friend could
make me laugh and that I had to go for a bit of loving tender hair care to
lighten up my saddened spirit. This could and would not have happened if I
stayed at home and sulked all day long. The hairdresser was a bit shocked when
I told her my tale and she then told me that she realized that when an accident
happens while you were on a date with a guy, that it was not the right one. I
tried at least and I felt better, at that moment it was all that mattered, just
to be in the moment and to make the moment as beautiful and joyful as humanly
possible. The following week I felt much better, I was happy that I met with
Drago and that we were not meant to be, I was relieved and my newly cut hair
made me feel a little bit more optimistic. I also found the courage to contact
my lawyer to know what was happening and what the next plan of action was, I
was not going to stay defeated, I was beginning to get back up again, to
believe again, to do my best to return to my heart, Mork, @78 and my Duomo. My
heart could not give up, I could stumble and fall but staying down is and will
never be an option for me, we have one life, we live it with all of our
emotions day in and day out and we make it count. We love, we cry, we fall, we
fail but we are not failures, the only time we are failures is if we stay down
and not try anymore. I am too positive to do that and too courageous. My levels of joy began to rise again, sadness was beginning to
leave my mind because I decided that I will just have to be patient and to try
again and then I will return home to Milan, my heart. My social media posts were filled with greater enthusiasm and of
course, the curious eyes in Milan followed what I posted.
At that time, I decided to also begin to write the second @78
novel called @78 When you wish upon a star, the subtitle came to me while I was
sitting on the patio one evening, staring upwards into the universe, looking at
the abundance of stars in the sky when the song of Jiminy Cricket began to play
in my mind, “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything
your heart desires, will come true.” For me, at that time I wished to return
home to Milan, Mork, @78, Jack, the kids and everyone. I missed them so much,
therefore, I decided to name the second @78 novel @78 When you wish upon a star
because that is what it is about. Wishing upon a star to return back home to my
heart, my Duomo and my newly found family that I adore more than anyone in the
world. “Finally my book planning is done” I thought to myself while I was
sitting behind my desk in the beginning of February 2014. Once my book planning
was done, I decided to have a little photo shoot on the fourth of February 2014
to get a front cover for the second @78 novel. I decided that the symbolic
meanings of the front cover need be of truth, angelic, clarity and
communication. I then ended up naked with angel wings on a sofa with my
typewriter in front of me and next to my typewriter was an abundance of books
piled up to portray that I am writing and communicating within truth, faith and
clarity.At the end of the shoot and 200+ photo’s later, I had to sit
through all of the pictures when I ended up with 40, I filtered it some more
and I ended up with 22 and on this day only two photos.I was very proud of the shoot because one could see that I was
naked but there was not much nudity, one could see my upper arm and my buttocks
from the side while I peacefully layed on the sofa in front of my typewriter,
and abundance of books with angel wings on.Obviously, I found some courage and I posted 22 of these photo’s
onto my fan page and onto my facebook when Lusiano, the cousin of Mork, who
liked one or two of my posts in the past commented and said: “[2]A,
olivetti lettera 22, I suppose!!!”I then replied to him and I said: “[3]Ehehehe
(blush emoticon) Lusiano, le mie ali sebrano rotti, ho appena notato (Shocked
face) Sigh (Sad face).Lusiano: “[4]Non
credo che sì notino le tue ali.” He added commenting only on my typewriter
while letting me know that he did not even notice my wings in the photo. The
commenting thus ended there and I went about my normal writing routine
thereafter. On the 11th of February 2014 I saw a post on Facebook
that intrigued me, the message within it was how we see the world from
different points of views. It was a photo which was a double image of two ants.
The top image in this photo showed that they both sat and stared into the
horizon while looking at this enormous sunset appearing as if they are sitting
on the ground where the one ant said to the other: “[5]Che
alba splendido.”The second image then showed the truth in their situation where as
they both sat on a big brown book while admiring a tennis ball when the second
and within the second image answered and said: “[6]Meravigliosa.”A simple image to show that we only understand our situations from
our levels of knowledge, education and intelligence. Shortly after I posted
this image to my facebook, Lusiano was the first to comment “nice” when I then
answered: “[7]Ehehehe
Lusiano avete mai seduti e chiedevo come piccolo insetti vedono il mondo?” he
did not answer after that but I did not mind. I did not really pay attention to
who Lusiano truly was, only to discover that he had the same surname as Mork,
which left me curious. I knew that nothing is said to me or in public without
the watchful eye of Mork but I did not read to much into the situation, I
simply continued to work on myself, to write my latest novel and to get my house
sold so that I can go back home. Slowly, I started to notice Lusiano and wondered about him. I knew
what the rules and what the score is in Milan, I knew that Mork wanted to know
the truth and I felt in my heart that something was brewing, that somehow
Lusiano was to interrogate me, to find out who I truly am and if I had spoken
the truth, a liar hate to be questioned, I did not mind, in truth nothing need
be feared.
[1] Marilette, ons enigste opsie is, is om die koper in die hande te kry en vra of sy nog wil voort gaan met die verkoop en as ons haar nie in die hande kan kry nie, gaan ons n kanselasie van die verkoop moet in dien. – Marilette, our only option is, is that we need to get hold of the buyer and ask if she still want to proceed with the sale and if we cannot get hold of her, we are going to have to submit a cancellation of sale.
[2] A, Olivetti lettera 22, I suppose!!! – Ah, an Olivetti 22 typewriter, I suppose!!!
[1] Marilette, ons enigste opsie is, is om die koper in die hande te kry en vra of sy nog wil voort gaan met die verkoop en as ons haar nie in die hande kan kry nie, gaan ons n kanselasie van die verkoop moet in dien. – Marilette, our only option is, is that we need to get hold of the buyer and ask if she still want to proceed with the sale and if we cannot get hold of her, we are going to have to submit a cancellation of sale.
[2] A, Olivetti lettera 22, I suppose!!! – Ah, an Olivetti 22 typewriter, I suppose!!!
